where does the pee come out of this thing
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize