Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
