So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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