how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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