just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do vagina's smell?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
