Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
