...so i touched it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
