We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize