: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
