he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
