i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize