there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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