so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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