The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize