Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
