Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
