My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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