I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
