If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
