we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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