she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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