Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
