I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
