Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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