Pappa wants mamma naked
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
