Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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