Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
