Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
