covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize