please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
