babies were throwing up all over the place
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize