She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
