I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
