five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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