Midget sex pt 2 tonight
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh god it's open bar.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
