Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
