just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
