Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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