Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
