I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize