when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I smell stomach acid.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
