Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
