i may or may not be watching the land before time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
