I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
