we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
