im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
