Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
