I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
