it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
