Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
