the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize