she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize