Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
