U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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