Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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