When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
