think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
