I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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