it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
